Existence
by youngwriter123
Summary: Drawings and promises destroyed into ashes. And there's no one left to take me home--- A Lil SluggerxTsukiko


**For the fans: Well hello. It's been a while and I just got to say that if any of my reviewers are wondering _why _I haven't uploaded a chapter of A Change I'm going to! I just had a hard time this past month and it's been tough. **

**Anyway, I don't want to make this a huge AN but I have to add that I listened to the song Hide and Seek Morgan Page remix by Imogen Heap, yeah the song Jason Derulo copied to make his Whatcha Say song. Listen to it! Seriously, at first it's like whatever but it's not such a bad song you know!  
(Give it a try!)**

**P.S. DAMN! I was hoping to make this a hurt/comfort but it didn't happen:( Oh well! ANgsty  
**

**I don't own any of Satoshi's Great Pile of Sh*t.

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**

_where are we?  
what the hell is going on?_

She made me at the wrong time. I wasn't meant to be something to cover a mistake. Awaken by a little girl who barely knew right from wrong at such an age, 12 years old.

She crouched down in front of a bloody road with a tiny sniffle. Her dear Maromi was gone just like that, with a bang. Not my fault, not that I would mind if it was. It was my creator's idiocy that would let something like that happen. I waited in the shadows while she stared blankly at the corpse. I knew what I was looking at was wrong-and that my smile and excited eyes that grew shouldn't have been there-but as she spoke about how it was "_his fault_", they wouldn't stop.

"He came!" Her eyes were filled with hate, so was her voice. I smiled as I placed a single golden foot out onto the sidewalk. She was setting me free. Although she was giving me life at the time, I was still intent on coming into the full reality that I belonged in. And so I waited. I waited for a long time. I watched her go home and tell daddy that I had come by and killed her precious dog. I watched her when she didn't cry that night. And I watched her deny the truth. I was beginning to mature out of the hazy lie she had made up. I watched her sleep. I watched her during school. I watched when she was turned down by her first crush. I watched her read, write, draw, and sing. She would always do that privately, whenever she had extra time after drawing.

_the dust has only just begun to form  
crop circles in the carpet  
sinking feeling

* * *

_

And one day she drew me; a tiny little sketch under scribbles of her dog. I was bored and watched with a frown as she hummed; bubbling in a design. She really loved to create improvised tunes. I couldn't help but grin at my figure. I was a demented looking kid holding a bent baseball bat. She couldn't think of anything a bit more dramatic?

A few more years passed as I waited for my escape. Tsukiko was always busy staying up, finishing drafts and reports. I remained silent even when she used me as an excuse for her late paper. It didn't really bother me anymore. I could see the world more clearly as she stacked up lie upon lie. Tonight she came home exhausted. She fell on the living room couch of her dorm room, later getting up to take a shower. I could tell she was bothered by something because I could feel my heart start to beat and my bat twitch to life. The cloudiness of her mind started to disappear and I could nearly make out myself in the mirror. I was coming to life right in front of her eyes. Smirking and all, I could see her drenched hair form over her pretty pale face. She looked like a ghost, a fragile angelic ghost. Before I got a chance to take in my appearance it was slammed shut and she screamed. I heard her fall to floor before I realized she had fainted. Was I that horrible to look at?

_oily marks appear on walls  
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,  
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life_

And one day she drew me again. She liked to remain silent, for it seemed it was her greatest words. Or drawing was. But she drew me as she sat in the hospital bed with that broken ankle. I watched her again and again as she retraced my face and then went on to the deranged smile. She drew me with, better, more accurate details. I loved it when she drew. Her face remained calm and her eyes would focus on the design at hand. I knew the outcome of this event, but I didn't peel my eyes away for a second. Not even to look up at the two strangers sitting across from us. For some reason I didn't feel like leaving my sweet Tsukiko just yet.

They called her silently to get her attention before the portrait was handed to the more patient-one of the two. They said a good bye, leaving the two of us alone. I was set free that day.

_speak no feeling no i don't believe you  
you don't care a bit,  
you don't care a (you don't care a) bit

* * *

_

I watched the dirty man stalking close behind Tsukiko. She was starting to panic because my heart was starting to pump. She told me what she wanted, and in an instant I was rolling down the alleyway of a dim neighborhood behind him. He needed me, my bat, and I hit him just as he got the slightest glimpse of who his attacker was. I could care less that it hurt and I raced on-until I reached Tsukiko. I expected praise or at least a shy smile but instead I got a gasp and a chilled to the bone look in her eyes. She didn't look very happy to see me. But I ignored it and grinned.

"I'm home."

A few weeks later there had been a copy cat. Someone bold enough to copy me? He was ruining _everything. _Whatever my master had created was falling down right in front of her eyes. Right in front of mine also and she couldn't stand it. And just like that I killed him. He really did look like me, but he was oozing stress. As I escaped, I wasn't surprised to find that I was in a jail cell. Of course that look alike had gotten caught. No one could do what I did.

_hide and seek  
trains and sewing machines  
all those years  
they were here first

* * *

_

I couldn't believe I was scaring her. All twenty feet high and mighty, standing in the middle of the road of her street, I stared down at her; my mother. How could I frighten her? I _loved_ her. There was no one else, no victim; I had ever kept so close. I was fine, I looked okay. I seemed okay. I was the same as I'd been since she gave me life using that damned dog, so what was wrong? Why did she give me that look? I was normal and doing my job. But something was off. Was it my red eyes? My smile? My _bat_? I blinked, and lowered the offending weapon. I did what she had wanted me to do. He was dead and she didn't have to worry anymore. If she worried then she'd get paranoid, and if she was paranoid then she would get frightened. Then she'd be cornered. I didn't want to have to hurt her.

_hide and seek  
trains and sewing machines (oh, you won't catch me around here)  
blood and tears (hearts)  
they were here first_

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was delusional. I could finally identify that ping of unexplainable fanatic indifference that I had felt that cold night. It had been weeks and rumors and stories flew through the air, changing me to what they wanted. To what they _needed_ me to be. Victims, and more… I think I may be going insane.

_spin me round again  
and rub my eyes,  
this can't be happening  
when busy streets a mess with people  
would stop to hold their heads heavy_

It was the smell, faint and fading, of bare fear. _Tsukiko's _fear. She ran through the twisting halls of her office as I followed close behind. She was making me so, so mad. No one had to be scared of me. I was helping them; I was doing what she wanted! Why wouldn't she stop running!? That's when I picked up speed. And as I neared her body, I held up my bat and swung down.

* * *

_**Mmmm that it's just what we need  
you decided this  
whatcha say?  
Mmmm what did she say?**_

What. What more could she want? Where was SHE? I scanned the whole city. I searched through every block. I even followed the dog's scent, but it was gone. Even as I consumed more and more people, none of them were her. None…

Tsukiko came into sight and I grabbed her as soon as I got the chance, along with that stubborn detective.

_**ransom notes keep falling out your mouth  
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs  
speak no feeling no I don't believe you  
you don't care a bit,  
you don't care a bit

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**_

It's been a month since my disappearance. I guess the reason I haven't been going insane anymore is because no one talks about me.

I had gotten Tsukiko's apo… well, I guess you wouldn't care even if I told you. You don't have to worry. Drawings are more vivid than words. Tsukiko believed that.

I was a boy made up by a very clever elementary school girl. My legacy is long dead now. But I still listen for a hint of stirred paranoia and anxiety. I was made that way; it's my profile you see.

Tsukiko is safe. Besides her creative imagination and overdue designs, she's been doing well. Never using me as an excuse for late projects.

I've let go of everything that she created and destroyed. Since the news was gone, people forgot. Since Tsukiko changed her decisions, I never existed.

All of the evidence has been burned, leaving nothing left but bits of dust and tears. I'll probably never see those portraits again. They were the only things I enjoyed watching, in hopes of seeing the sketches and doodles come to life, just as I'm sure Tsukiko hoped.

I don't think anyone will play victim for a while, or create skyscraper lies. But I do wonder when it'll start.

My name is… I've been called many things over the past year. I've been seen as many things. They say I can walk out of this imaginary folklore soon.

Hopefully, in the next life, Tsukiko will be there to sketch me into a real person.

For another few years, I'll be skating on a thin line of fear.

Tomorrow, I'm free.

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**AU: So what'd you think?**

** If it was stupid, tell me it was stupid. **

**If you liked it, feel free to tell me you enjoyed it. When I was writing this I thought I was writing a masterpiece. I hoped it turned out somewhat like one for any of you readers. I always really loved their pairing, not much fics out there about them so I thought I'd give it a go. I totally randomized the order of lyrics in the story:P**

**To the fans: I promise I'll update soon. God I haven't been on here for SO long. I don't even know what is old mail or new mail! So hit me up if I haven't replied!~ Or just hit me up if you're bored. I don't bite ^^  
**


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